Healing the Inner child as parents so that we can really parent with our best foot forward has been surfacing so much for me lately. I am being shaken up and forced to acknowledge and let go of more "stuff". It doesnt feel pretty moving thru it, but I have been thru layers of my stuff enough to know that doing the hard work, leads to rainbows on the other side. Now I just give thanks for the opportunity to grow.
My latest, and I expect, greatest challenge is being mirrored by my gorgeous and inspiring son Moss. My best and my worst behaviour is played out by him. Parents, as you know this can be awfully confronting and for me as I am willing to be concious of the behaviour (my behaviour), that is uncomfortable for me when being played out by him. I am being urged by my higher self to feel and let go of old, old wounds.
Wounding/trauma is inherent in all of us, from being parented in ways that were oft times demeaning, hurtful, shaming and not aligned with authenicity and compassion. Many of us are acutely aware of when we fall into those old ways of relating (ways we were spoken to) and if we can be honest with ourselves, pull ourselves up and change tack we can end up in a place of true compassion and connection with our children.
Our kids are our barometer of our innerfeelings, and I think, how authentic am I being in any moment. How aligned with my heart centred self am I right *now*? Am I responding in a way to you, that I would my best friend, or how I would like to be spoken to?
For me sometimes, it is too late, the words have slipped out that sound just like my parents did.
Thank fully I am able to speak honestly to Moss about working on my pain (in a very simple way) and that i want to relate to him better, and i am reminding my self to be more present and think before I speak.
My main reason for posting tonight was to see if i could actually work thru some of this pain by writing about it and getting my thoughts out there.
The truth is, I am uncomfortable at times with the strength of my son's emotional reactions to things. I am able to see though, that when I am tired, too hungry or my thoughts have assisted me to attract a "bad" day, I myself don't always react rationally to some situations.
In those moments I know what I need is patience, a kind word or compassionate/understanding vibe, reassurance that it's okay to feel. Not someone getting exasherbated by my behaviour, yelling at me, etc. That would make me feel worse and even remorseful, that i would express so passionately!
This is what I can actively do in Mossy's moments of passion.
1. Remember to *breathe*
2. Don't say anything if thinking negatively.
3. Find peace inside and model that while the storm rages within him.
4. Find functionality: avoiding the dysfunctional old paradigm of relating.
5. These moments pass and they do bring clarity, if connection is allowed, reestablished and fostered between you in the bliss moments as well as the stormy ones.
It has been said that the first child you have has a temprement like you, your second, like your partener (daddy). For us that is most definately the truth. Moss represents for me, my stormy emotional inner seas and my brilliant empathy and intuition. Lotus eminates the true peace of her daddy, as far as i can see so far. She gives me daily injections of love and clarity, mainlined straight into my heart.
I am grateful to be able to write and bring myself back to centre. Thanks for listening.
My latest, and I expect, greatest challenge is being mirrored by my gorgeous and inspiring son Moss. My best and my worst behaviour is played out by him. Parents, as you know this can be awfully confronting and for me as I am willing to be concious of the behaviour (my behaviour), that is uncomfortable for me when being played out by him. I am being urged by my higher self to feel and let go of old, old wounds.
Wounding/trauma is inherent in all of us, from being parented in ways that were oft times demeaning, hurtful, shaming and not aligned with authenicity and compassion. Many of us are acutely aware of when we fall into those old ways of relating (ways we were spoken to) and if we can be honest with ourselves, pull ourselves up and change tack we can end up in a place of true compassion and connection with our children.
Our kids are our barometer of our innerfeelings, and I think, how authentic am I being in any moment. How aligned with my heart centred self am I right *now*? Am I responding in a way to you, that I would my best friend, or how I would like to be spoken to?
For me sometimes, it is too late, the words have slipped out that sound just like my parents did.
Thank fully I am able to speak honestly to Moss about working on my pain (in a very simple way) and that i want to relate to him better, and i am reminding my self to be more present and think before I speak.
My main reason for posting tonight was to see if i could actually work thru some of this pain by writing about it and getting my thoughts out there.
The truth is, I am uncomfortable at times with the strength of my son's emotional reactions to things. I am able to see though, that when I am tired, too hungry or my thoughts have assisted me to attract a "bad" day, I myself don't always react rationally to some situations.
In those moments I know what I need is patience, a kind word or compassionate/understanding vibe, reassurance that it's okay to feel. Not someone getting exasherbated by my behaviour, yelling at me, etc. That would make me feel worse and even remorseful, that i would express so passionately!
This is what I can actively do in Mossy's moments of passion.
1. Remember to *breathe*
2. Don't say anything if thinking negatively.
3. Find peace inside and model that while the storm rages within him.
4. Find functionality: avoiding the dysfunctional old paradigm of relating.
5. These moments pass and they do bring clarity, if connection is allowed, reestablished and fostered between you in the bliss moments as well as the stormy ones.
It has been said that the first child you have has a temprement like you, your second, like your partener (daddy). For us that is most definately the truth. Moss represents for me, my stormy emotional inner seas and my brilliant empathy and intuition. Lotus eminates the true peace of her daddy, as far as i can see so far. She gives me daily injections of love and clarity, mainlined straight into my heart.
I am grateful to be able to write and bring myself back to centre. Thanks for listening.
Sweet Holly, thank you for sharing your thoughts. They are so healing and remind me to stay present and breathe in these situations. Every one of my children mirror some part of me that needs nurturing, love and forgiveness. I applaud you for being so honest. Your authenticity is inspirational. Sending you a cozy pink blanket of unconditional love and understanding. Beautiful woman <3
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